dilemmemily:

one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves

(via leavemealoneiknowwhatimdoing)

staff:

Have a great weekend, Tumblr. 

(Source: 7ae, via leavemealoneiknowwhatimdoing)

teasay:

Terrifying Sex Toys - Can’t Believe They Actually Exist

premiium:

premiium:

there’s a difference between “lazy” and “i don’t want to fucking do that shit”

never thought 150 thousand people would agree with me

(via postulation)

gingerbrownies:

America needs to up it’s game!

gingerbrownies:

America needs to up it’s game!

(via postulation)

sararoseurboat:

thetremblingofmyhand:

escapedosmil:

noelledino:

deductionhunters:

chocolateist:

i-want-cheese:

bakaandty:

i-want-cheese:

blogorgtfo:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

Back when I was younger and more ignorant and misinformed than I am now, one of my exes literally made me feel guilty sometimes when he got a boner and I didn’t want to “take care of him”. He claimed that it caused him a lot of pain and he said that his doctor had actually said he couldn’t leave himself in that state or else he could damage himself…. So made me feel like I HAD to give him relief even when I really did not desire to. And that sucked.

Wait… it DOESN’T hurt them?

Boys get boners all the time for no reason. No, it doesn’t hurt them. If any boy tries to tell you otherwise, run away as fast as you can because he’s lying to you for the sake of his penis.

No penis is more important than you because you are a whole person and a penis is just a spongy flab o’ flesh. 

Hahaha deff not I get boners constantly.
Math
Driving
Light
Anything causes them

Favorite answer so far.

Math.

Dicks can seriously be ridiculous at times

Hell sometimes a brisk breeze can set them off

Reblogging this for all of the girls and guys that DO NOT KNOW THIS INFORMATION.  Because this is extremely important.

HEY!!! 

HEYYYYYY!!!!

The term ‘blue balls’ isn’t actually a fucking thing. 

It was created by giant flopping douche canoes to con girls into rubbing their little dingadongs. 

I literally get 10 boners a day and never get blue balls. 

Next time someone tries to shame you into a handy, kick them in the balls and tell them “NOW YOU HAVE BLUE BALLS”

Sorry but, coming from a woman, “blue balls”  (ie pain caused by temporary fluid congestion) can be a thing, it’s just that not all men experience it, it will not cause any damage if not “treated”, and no woman should be obliged to “relieve” a guy with this problem. 

Yeah, I’ve known a few guys to actually get pretty nauseous because of blue balls. And these are guys that I know extremely well and have either dated or been good friends with. They can take care of themselves just fine. If you WANT to help, by all means. But no, boners are not a death sentence. You do not need to be the Mother Teresa of Boners unless you want to be.

(via ghoti-pi)

visualechoess:

Stand - by: Tang xuguo